When Life Feels Empty, Try This.

Trauma rips through your sense of life's meaning sometimes. Here's a 10-minute exercise to bring you back to reality.

It’s not just the initial trauma — the lost love or the material catastrophe — that leaves you traumatized. It’s the feelings of disconnection and emptiness that haunt you off and on for years afterward, even when everything is fine, even when you’re with people who love you, and even (maybe especially) when you are meant to feel wonder and gratitude, like at Christmastime.

Maybe you’re feeling depressed and lost, or as if things have gotten so bad that there just isn’t any good in the world anymore. Maybe you are literally alone, with real fears bearing down on you. I know that feeling all too well, and as with other trauma-related problems I’ve struggled with, I crafted a workaround to allow me to get back to reality, find something purposeful to do, and soldier on.

It’s a ten-minute thought exercise. I’m sharing it here, with anyone who needs it. I’ve written it out in abbreviated form so you can determine if you trust where I’m taking you with this, but I recommend the video (I made it during lockdown), which is more complete, and will allow you to close your eyes and let the words guide you along toward a gentler, more hopeful perspective.

Because there is good. It’s all around us, even in the darkest moments. You have to train yourself to see it — to actually become it.

To begin the exercise, find a comfortable space—a cozy chair, a sofa, or even a spot outdoors—and allow yourself to settle into a state of rest. Close your eyes if you’d like.

(Here’s the abridged, written version of what I’ll guide you through on the video.)

Begin by focusing on your body. Acknowledge its miraculous functions, allowing you to breathe, move, and express yourself. Maybe you’re dealing with aches, pains, or insecurities about your physical form. For now, set those aside. Instead, appreciate all that your body has done for you: its ability to sense, touch, see, hear, taste, and smell. These gifts connect you to the world and allow you to experience its beauty. Your body is an instrument of good, made to help you live, learn, and bring goodness into the world.

Next, focus on the people who have touched your life. Yes, some have hurt you, but for now, we’ll set those memories aside and concentrate instead on those who have brought you comfort and joy. Think of someone who comforted you when you were sick, grieving, or in pain. Maybe they gave you a warm hug, stayed by your side, or offered a reassuring word that helped you feel safe and at ease. Reflect on how their kindness made you feel—perhaps it brought a sense of peace or reminded you that you weren’t alone.

Consider someone who introduced you to a work of art that resonated deeply with you. It could be a song, a book, or a painting that opened your imagination and brought you joy. Someone shared their enthusiasm with you, and in doing so, they brought good into the world.

Think about a person who praised you for something you were naturally good at. Maybe it was a teacher who noticed your creativity, a friend who admired your kindness, or a family member who appreciated your hard work. Their recognition may have helped you see the good in yourself and encouraged you to keep going.

Can you remember someone who protected you from harm? It might have been a friend who stood up for you, a mentor who guided you away from a bad decision, or someone who physically helped you out of a dangerous situation. Their actions were a gift, a way of bringing good into the world.

Now, think of someone who taught you a skill that has been valuable in your life. It could be something practical like cooking, driving, or using technology. Maybe they helped you become a better writer, a skilled craftsperson, or a compassionate listener. Their guidance enabled you to earn a living, care for others, or navigate life more effectively. This was their gift to you.

Reflect on someone who modeled kindness, honor, and courage. It could have been a parent, a teacher, or even a character from a book or TV show. They showed you how to be a good and moral person, and their influence has shaped who you are today.

Has someone ever helped you when life felt overwhelming? Perhaps they gave you a place to stay, helped you clean or organize your home, or simply offered a listening ear when you needed it most. Their support brought calm to your chaos and reminded you of the good in the world.

Think of someone who defended you when you were unfairly accused or someone who welcomed you into their home when you felt alone. These acts of kindness may seem small, but their impact can last a lifetime.

Was there someone who introduced you to the wonders of nature? Maybe they shared their love of animals, trees, or the ocean with you. Their passion opened your eyes to the beauty of the natural world, bringing more good into your life.

Perhaps someone helped you or a loved one overcome addiction. They may have provided guidance, support, or simply a compassionate presence. Their role in your journey to sobriety is a profound act of goodness.

Think of someone who made a holiday special or prepared a meal that delighted your senses. These moments of celebration and nourishment are ways of bringing joy into the world.

Consider someone who helped you mend a relationship or encouraged you when you felt ashamed or uncertain. Their belief in you reminded you of your own strength and worth.

If you haven’t yet met someone who fits these descriptions, that’s okay. Instead, think about how you can be that person for someone else. Each of us has the power to bring goodness into the world, even in small ways. Whether it’s offering a kind word, sharing something you love, or helping someone in need, your actions have the potential to uplift others and, in turn, yourself.

As you reflect on all the people who have brought good into your life, you may come to realize that it’s almost as if a council of angels has been watching over you. These individuals, whether they realized it or not, have helped you in ways big and small. Let their kindness inspire you to take your place among them—to be a source of good for others. The world is full of challenges, but it’s also full of beauty and kindness. By focusing on the good that has been done for you and the good you can do for others, you can create a ripple effect of hope and healing.

So take a deep breath, let it all in, and remember: the good in the world is genuine and abundant, and you are a part of it.

Read more at: https://crappychildhoodfairy.com/2024/12/21/when-you-are-feeling-empty/